Crunch Time

It seems to be that time again. That time of the school term where all the work just seems to pile on me. Its kind of hard trying to stay on track when work is coming at you from every directions. I guess this is just college. The part I hate the most is when I'm so focus on getting one assignment done on time and of good quality and forget an assignment for another class. That bugs the hell out of me. I currently have lots of work due now for my classes and it is starting to become pretty damn stressful. I just figure I'd do my best and call it a day. Just the other day I was in my nutrition class and found out that I had forgotten to do two assignments. Maybe it was because I only have that class once a week. Luckily for me there were some nice girls in there who got me on track. Word can't exlain how pissed I would have been if I had gotten a zero. Now I have a take home test due in there and a dietary analysis paper due. Then on the other hand, I have a five page outline and a speech due in my oral communication class. I also have math homework due tommorow which my friend has to help me with which doesn't really help me on the test. I am totally lost in French now so no comment. I hope God sends a blessing my way and everything falls in place because I don't want to have to tell my mom I'm failing and see the dissapointment in her face. That shit makes me feel hella bad.

Anger

Every since I can remember I have had a kind of quick temper. I just so easily get ticked off a certain things. I have learned to control my temper much better than I use to be able to. It was like one minute I could be happy and having a good time and the next minute something could change my whole attitude. Sometimes I feel it is just better to get certain things off your chest. At one point in time I used to just hold my peace when something made me mad, but that only made me a more angry person. I would just hold things in and when I finally blew off steam I would explode. I hate being angry because I sometimes say hurtful things to people that just really changes my relationship with that person. Its like I didn't use to think at all when I was mad I just snapped off. My uncle use to have little "talks" with me to so call calm me down. He would always say that "a angry black man either ends up dead or in jail". My uncle use to have a quote for everything. I have learned to manage my anger much better, but I still sometimes find myself snapping off. It's like I just have to let people know what and how I feel and express my emotion at the same time. My grandmother always told me that I wore my heart on my sleeve, but I never really knew what that meant and never really cared. I knew I use to have bad anger problems because any little thing would make me extremely angry and I would take it to a whole new level. I think I just need to pray for patience. I am not saying I am a bad or abusive person. I am actually a sweet-hearted person. I just get really mad sometimes, but I don't really hurt anyone, maybe with word. I hope I can gain more self-control while I am steady growing as a person. It could really help.